TubaForum.net

LOL...
When (mid-late 1960's) we were a bunch of elementary schoolboys running up and down the streets of our neighborhood (as well as through abandoned shacks out in the woods, messing around in the overgrown pecan orchard, running through concreted-in ditches as our "freeways", and all that stuff...)

...there was an old man who sat out on his porch and - because he was there - we would stop and listen to him articulate, declare, and reflect forth (as if a wise guru).

I only remember one of his "wise sayings"...

Boys, life it too short to waste your time with fat girls.

bloke "I didn't... ...but don't kill the messenger...It ain't MY saying."

@claf

file:///C:/Users/OWNER/Downloads/low-brass-players-creed-pdf-12.pdf

If not, this might:

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source= ... pdf-12.pdf

bloke wrote: Sun Mar 29, 2026 9:31 pm @claf

file:///C:/Users/OWNER/Downloads/low-brass-players-creed-pdf-12.pdf

The link doesn't work, but i remember it well enough. It's probably been 30 years since I've heard it.

I prefer to remember the advice Tom Holtz would give us in college: "Don't suck."

Works if you copy and paste it, I suspect.

If not, this might:

https://pangcompchicde.weebly.com/uploa ... pdf-12.pdf

bloke wrote: Sun Mar 29, 2026 4:00 pm

claf wrote: Sun Mar 29, 2026 1:26 pm

bloke wrote: Sun Mar 29, 2026 1:04 pm Where is Charlie Vernon's one-page treatise, when we really need it?

I'm missing the reference there, can you elaborate?

juvenile coarse humor, which is way more true than funny - describing some symphonic low brass players attitudes

It's 100% true then, but don't blame them, they were taught that way.
Some 15 years ago I played in a big band which was composed of good amateurs, some semi-pros and all the student of the jazz diploma (future pros).

The students were all like that, and could debate hours of a single chord substitution

bloke wrote: Sun Mar 29, 2026 9:41 am ...that could be part of an old French tuba part...as Offenbach was a French composer.
You probably already know this, but those particular instruments were actually smaller than modern-day euphoniums, though the length of modern-day huge C tubas.

Huh? Bloke must be having a "Biden moment", as he knows French tuba bugles are 8 feet long, as opposed to 16 feet long for CC tubas.

bloke wrote: Sun Mar 29, 2026 9:24 pm ...there was an old man who sat out on his porch and - because he was there - we would stop and listen to him articulate, declare, and reflect forth (as if a wise guru).

I only remember one of his "wise sayings"...

Boys, life it too short to waste your time with fat girls.

bloke "I didn't... ...but don't kill the messenger...It ain't MY saying."

One of my first jobs was as a kitchen gopher at a dinner and the resident cantankerous old coot had the opposite advice

Don't waste time with skinny girls.. they wanna hold your hand and chat with Mama on the porch.. big girls give you the lovin...

So much for the wisdom of the old...

What is this thread about anyway???

gocsick wrote: Mon Mar 30, 2026 5:13 am

bloke wrote: Sun Mar 29, 2026 9:24 pm ...there was an old man who sat out on his porch and - because he was there - we would stop and listen to him articulate, declare, and reflect forth (as if a wise guru).

I only remember one of his "wise sayings"...

Boys, life it too short to waste your time with fat girls.

bloke "I didn't... ...but don't kill the messenger...It ain't MY saying."

One of my first jobs was as a kitchen gopher at a dinner and the resident cantankerous old coot had the opposite advice

Don't waste time with skinny girls.. they wanna hold your hand and chat with Mama on the porch.. big girls give you the lovin...

So much for the wisdom of the old...

What is this thread about anyway???

If you noticed, I changed the name of a thread that I started a few days ago.

UncleBeer wrote: Mon Mar 30, 2026 4:08 am

bloke wrote: Sun Mar 29, 2026 9:41 am ...that could be part of an old French tuba part...as Offenbach was a French composer.
You probably already know this, but those particular instruments were actually smaller than modern-day euphoniums, though the length of modern-day huge C tubas.

Huh? Bloke must be having a "Biden moment", as he knows French tuba bugles are 8 feet long, as opposed to 16 feet long for CC tubas.

yep... Thanks.

Those high notes seem like a great invitation to bring the bass tuba to band!

the elephant wrote: Sun Mar 29, 2026 2:51 pm

Schlitzz wrote: Sun Mar 29, 2026 2:45 pmCan Can dancers are thin, Wade.

Not the ones at Six Flags…

I will refrain from specifying which Six Flags location to spare the "heftier" skirt-wavers…

Just so we’re all clear, Wade was in an Army band, had a bad experience at Six Flags. Offenbach has been known to trigger him for about 33 years.

Also, Lois Einhorn is a man……

claf wrote: Sun Mar 29, 2026 8:59 am Would you play it that high, or 8vb ?

I'd play it 22vb and see if anyone notices .