non-musical distracting (and disgusting) noises created when playing

Tubas, euphoniums, mouthpieces, and anything music-related.
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bloke
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non-musical distracting (and disgusting) noises created when playing

Post by bloke »

This is going to be an analogy, so - if you have the patience to read this - you're going to have to wade through this first part: (or I suppose you could skip it)

In the late 1960s into the '70s, there was a time when so-called "classical guitar" (short wide neck, nylon strings, with the typical repertoire being "serious" Spanish guitar compositions and classical transcriptions) suddenly became quite popular. Perhaps it was due to a guitarist named Mason Williams hitting the pop charts with a tune called "Classical Gas" (??)
Around that time, a very handsome student of Andre Segovia floated to the top and was concertising around the world and playing that one guitar concerto (by Rodrigo) that tends to be played with symphony orchestras as well.
As someone who got caught up in the craze and switched over and began studying so-called "classical guitar" as a teenager, I went to hear that handsome young player perform that concerto with an orchestra and then play some solo encores afterwards.
When playing the solo pieces, it was impossible for me to concentrate, because all I could hear was his left hand squeaking when he changed hand positions on the strings and slid up and down them. Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak. :smilie6: :facepalm2:
------------
Here's the analogy:
Many tuba players (I suppose viewing themselves as artistes or budding artistes of the world's most popular solo instrument...??) like to post videos of themselves playing their tubas on social media. Their (many of them) EQUIVALENT of squeaking their fingers up and down the strings is this:
inhaling with their mouth right next to the mouthpiece. It makes a really loud noise through the instrument that not only is annoying but pretty disgusting.
I understand trying to keep part of their mouth anchored to part of the mouthpiece when taking quick breaths, so they don't have to plant their face completely back on the mouthpiece to continue, but that noise is very anti-musical (read: awful).
When he was quite old and frail, Roger Bobo (at one time undoubtedly the world's finest solo tuba player) was doing a masterclass in the Nashville area. I was planning on going and listening to his comments when students would play for him, but I became ill right before that event.
My friend - who lived in the Nashville area and did attend - reported back to me afterward, and said that most all the comments were the typical comments that you hear artists and teachers offer as advice to students, but one stood out, and the one that stood out was telling one of the young players that the breathing noise going through his instrument sounded disgusting and distracted from everything else he was doing. YES YES YES YES YES !!!!!
Robert Burns wrote:O wad some Pow’r the giftie gie us, To see oursels as ithers see us!
Last edited by bloke on Fri Sep 18, 2026 8:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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catgrowlB (Fri Sep 18, 2026 3:30 pm)


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Re: non-musical distracting (and disgusting) noises created when playing

Post by catgrowlB »

Yeah, both the guitar finger-squeek and breathing thru the tuba grates on me. Also, when any brass player has condensation burbling in their main tuning slide when they play, and don't empty the water key or slide often enough 🤢 😒
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Re: non-musical distracting (and disgusting) noises created when playing

Post by Heavy_Metal »

It was Mason Williams:

Frank
Principal tuba, Bel Air Community Band
Old (early 1900s?) Alexander BBb proto-163
1976 Sonora (B&S 101) 4-rotor BBb
~1904 York 3P BBb Helicon
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Re: non-musical distracting (and disgusting) noises created when playing

Post by bloke »

Thanks. Fixed.
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Re: non-musical distracting (and disgusting) noises created when playing

Post by bloke »

Thanks. Fixed.
I had to learn that.
It was the first thing everyone asked to hear
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Re: non-musical distracting (and disgusting) noises created when playing

Post by Snake Charmer »

catgrowlB wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2026 3:29 pm Yeah, both the guitar finger-squeek and breathing thru the tuba grates on me. Also, when any brass player has condensation burbling in their main tuning slide when they play, and don't empty the water key or slide often enough 🤢 😒
The way and moment to dump the condensation matters too: I once heard in a concert hall with very nice acoustics that one of the trombones emptied his slide during a oboe solo at pp :facepalm2: (world famous symphonic orchestra)

For the guitar part I remember the higly praised recordings of Julian Bream in the 1970s, when not only this amazing whizz-whizz from the fingers was to hear but also a rustling from his jacket sleeve. Why does one wear a formal jacket in a recording studio??? :gaah:
This memory is the reason why I play my tenor guitar with flat-wound strings
:tuba: ...with a song in my heart!
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Re: non-musical distracting (and disgusting) noises created when playing

Post by bloke »

Snake Charmer wrote: Sat Sep 19, 2026 2:20 am
catgrowlB wrote: Fri Sep 18, 2026 3:29 pm Yeah, both the guitar finger-squeek and breathing thru the tuba grates on me. Also, when any brass player has condensation burbling in their main tuning slide when they play, and don't empty the water key or slide often enough 🤢 😒
The way and moment to dump the condensation matters too: I once heard in a concert hall with very nice acoustics that one of the trombones emptied his slide during a oboe solo at pp :facepalm2: (world famous symphonic orchestra)

For the guitar part I remember the higly praised recordings of Julian Bream in the 1970s, when not only this amazing whizz-whizz from the fingers was to hear but also a rustling from his jacket sleeve. Why does one wear a formal jacket in a recording studio??? :gaah:
This memory is the reason why I play my tenor guitar with flat-wound strings
Part of what prompted me to start this thread is that five string Jazz bass that I just purchased.
I purposefully wanted an instrument just like my other one except with five strings and with roundwound strings (as the one that I already had has four strings which are flatwound).
After all these years of not playing, and with my most recent playing involving flatwound, I suddenly became aware again that when I do shifts (with round wound strings) I need to lift my fingers. That stuff comes right through the pickups and right out the speaker.

condensation:
Blowing water out of an instrument with a strong noisy gust of air is counterproductive. It just blows the water around past the exit hole. To successfully empty water, the air should be slow and gentle and just enough to break the surface tension around the edge of the hole so that the water runs out.
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Re: non-musical distracting (and disgusting) noises created when playing

Post by Nemo »

There's a set of string quartets by Ben Johnston that have some really amazing harmonies in odd temperaments. As far as I know the only group who has recorded them all is the Kepler quartet, who actually moved to be near the composer as he died to perfect it. The music demands tuning accuracy within a cent on every pitch because it plays with the natural variations in the harmonic sequence etc etc, so not many groups have even attempted it.

Unfortunately, this landmark series of recordings has the microphones right where you can hear every breath from all 4 players...

If you're interested in hearing the music, String Quartet #4 is a set of variations on Amazing Grace and is probably the most accessible of the 10.

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Re: non-musical distracting (and disgusting) noises created when playing

Post by arpthark »

Nice mention of Ben Johnston, haven’t thought of his music since I was working on my doctorate in music theory.

Easley Blackwood and Harry Partch are some others to throw out there as far as non-12-tone equal temperament composers.

Back to the point about distracting sounds, pretty much every recording of pianist Glenn Gould, you can hear him singing along with the music or his little chair that he brought everywhere squeaking. At this point it’s part of the charm of his recordings, but I’m sure it drives some people nuts.

https://www.glenngould.ca/2021/06/23/on ... 2343750000
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Re: non-musical distracting (and disgusting) noises created when playing

Post by Snake Charmer »

condensation:
Blowing water out of an instrument with a strong noisy gust of air is counterproductive. It just blows the water around past the exit hole. To successfully empty water, the air should be slow and gentle and just enough to break the surface tension around the edge of the hole so that the water runs out.
This trombone player did it professionally, just blowing very soft for a second or two. But in great hall with a drop dead silence audience carried away by a lovely lyrical oboe solo he just didn't blend in too well. I could see him doing this so I knew before it happened. My friend playing tuba at this concert said that he had rolled his eyes also when he saw what's going to happen
:tuba: ...with a song in my heart!
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Re: non-musical distracting (and disgusting) noises created when playing

Post by bort2.0 »

I remember when I was about 9 years old, I bought a cassette of "Bach Greatest Hits" or something. My friends made fun of me, because they all listened to and bought popular music, or at least music that was popular from the 60s and 70s (e.g., the Stones, the Beatles, etc).

I think it was during Air on a G String, there's a spot in the middle where the strings hold out a note for 3 counts, then 1 beat of rest, then everyone comes back in. There's a very audible "four" from the conductor during that rest. Always bothered me, and it sounded like a rehearsal recording instead of a performance.

But when my friends would tease me and say "that music doesn't even have any words," I would play that for them and say, "wrong, here's a word!" :laugh: :facepalm2:
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Re: non-musical distracting (and disgusting) noises created when playing

Post by the elephant »

Re Mason Williams… I prefer the B-side of that 45, Baroque-a-nova, which is equally cheesy but was very interesting to high school Wade.

Back on topic, I really hate it when opera divas wearing white formals shart themselves during the high notes.

So distracting.

:laugh:

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